Europe 2011

2nd February 2011

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Today I went to Swan Lake…

Well, more or less. I went to the most incredible place on Earth: Lake Bled!

Here are the reasons it is better than wherever you went today (sorry).

• There were SWANS. White swans. And they were huge.
• The water was so clear!
• The lake is surrounded by lots of hills. Very scenic.
• There is an island in the centre, where I took a boat out to!
• A nice looking church sat by the lake.
• Sunny and warm, yet surrounded by snow and ice. Peculiar!
• Such a beautiful place.

Seriously, it was straight from a fairytale. It even had a castle overlooking the lake from a clifftop!

Oh, and those of you I have on Facebook should already know about the awful experience I had in the Postojna Caves yesterday. I’m writing an indignant email to the staff, and don’t worry: I’ll be posting the email on here. ;) Yay for open letters!

26th January 2011

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Italy is incredible. And Italy knows it.

First of all, two things must be said: firstly, I don’t care about the whole Pompeii incident anymore. Not the whole eruption thing, that’s kind of an important historical event that had significant impact on our knowledge of pre-79 AD Roman and Greek lives. No no, I mean the one where lots of people messed up in 2011 AD and Pompeii made me a suicide risk. That one. The fact is, I am here. And I saw the ruins. That is more than I should or could ask for. :)

Oh, and the second thing? Italy is still the proverbial dumping ground for culture, food and good looking people. It’s like heaven was closed when the best things in the world died, so God decided to send them to the coast of the Mediterranean Sea.

Onto the bulletpoints and bolded subtitle!

Pompeii

• Naples was ghetto. Have-a-gun-on-you-at-all-times ghetto.
• Carbonara + anything = yum. Yes, I am doing a maths subject this year. Clearly my mathematical training in my life thus far is paying off.
• There was a couple outside the ruins that spoke not a word of English. And yet, when they heard my grandfather’s New Zealand accent the man proudly exclaimed “All Blacks!”. Good to know we have made our mark on the world.
• I want to learn French because it is practical. I want to learn Japanese because it is convenient. I want to learn Italian because it is AWESOME.
• My grandfather said “merci” to Italian strangers about four times before giving up. Now he just says “thank you”. Good choice.
• Also, once he said “Gracias”. That “s” sound makes all the difference. And now I have Dora The Explorer’s voice swirling around my head.
• HOLA EVERYBODY!
• Sorry, I’ll stop that.
• Okay, last Dora reference - that show teaches us awful things. Robbers can be stopped by yelling abuse at them, foxes are evil, monkeys can talk, Dora’s cousin/boyfriend Diego can be a zoologist at 9 years old, cows have mermaid tails, so do cats and dogs (I saw this episode myself, PROOF), if the genie gives you one wish you can still ask for three, litter cannot be undone by magic, an octopus with a hat is the root of all evil, and you can telepathically communicate with Mexican youths through a television.
• Back to our previously scheduled programming!
• The ruins of Pompeii are stunning.
• It was terrifically sunny and hot all day, perfect for trekking all over an ancient city in an effort to find Villa di Misteri.
• Traveler’s Tip: Don’t bother. It’s a fictional place, like Atlantis or Australia. You will not find it no matter how you look.
• Seriously, those signs directed me to nothing. Nothing I say!
• We had dinner in the same place both nights. The first, the waiter could only speak Italian, yet somehow I acted as a translator for my grandparents and we got exactly what we wanted. The second night, the waiter spoke English and he got all our orders wrong. Crazy world.
• Yay for hotels with free WiFi!
• Nay for WiFi not reaching your hotel room.

Here ends the longest Tumblr post ever.
Closing note: do they still have carrier pigeons? I want one.

Closing note the second: I swear I didn’t post this on my grandfather’s Tumblr by accident and had to remove it an instant later.

23rd January 2011

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Disney and London and Paintings (Oh my)

That’s right, I went to Disneyland Paris! Both parks. Don’t act like you aren’t jealous.

Disneyland Paris

• Firstly, breakfast before we left the hotel was hilarious.
• Croissants are delicious but so flakey! I spent about 5 minutes collecting all the flakes from the table onto my plate, then I coughed and they all flew onto my granddad. Damn flakey pastries.
• Why is no one else on the train excited? I am shocked.
• I love Disneyland Paris. I don’t care what people say about it being the worst park, it is fantastic.
• Wow, there is a lot of Stitch here. Which is always a good thing!
• Phantom Manor (Haunted Mansion) was spooky, but could have been better. I wanted to hear the story of the killer bride, they kind of brushed over it. D:
• Yay, Pirates Of The Carribean! Although none of the people in the restaurant waved back when my boat went past them. Bastards.
• The Disney Studios park was playing instrumental music from Pocahontas on the speakers when I came in. I approve.
• The Art Of Disney Animation is INCREDIBLE. It’s a three part attraction which focuses on the history of Disney animation, has a long montage of the best parts from Disney films, and a hilarious live show where Mushu (on the video) argued with the host who was explaining how a character is developed.
• Crush’s Coaster was fantastic! The biggest thrill ride I’ve ever gone on, that’s for sure. Things like that aren’t usually my thing but I’m glad I took the plunge, that was intense. You are pretty much constantly falling in all directions.
• The day was grey at first but got quite sunny, which was nice. No rain either! :)
• I loved the parade, that song is so darn catchy! Although the Peter Pan didn’t really look like he was trying. Meh, everyone else was great.

London:

• I finally made it to the land of my ancestors, the land of Lizzy, Sally and Carl, the land of Jaffa Cakes… a pizza place! Also, London.
• Seriously, I have eaten so much pizza in Europe. NO. MORE. PIZZA.
• This hotel is nice. The WiFi is reliable and the room is so spacious… and best of all, close to food.
• I have seen more Burger Kings than McDonalds! I assume this is some monarchy thing. How exactly is the Burger King related to the Queen again?
• Wow, I have seen a lot of art.
• Big Ben… ain’t so big. More of a Medium-Sized Ben.
• Mmmm, Cadbury’s 17p Fudge stick thingamajig…
• Everything that isn’t a double-decker bus is made out of bricks.
• I still need to try a jaffa cake.
• Sushi was delicious for dinner tonight, but I’m still a bit hungry. Perhaps I should sneak out and my some pizza down the road. Wait, I forgot - no more pizza!
• There is a surprising amount of British television here. Although I guess here it is just television.
• And repeats of Friends. Didn’t see much, just Monica talking about some pie-eating contest. Good times, 90’s show, good times.

Churches and the British Museum tomorrow, if all goes well. Then Florence? Maybe Pompeii is before that. I need to find this out.

20th January 2011

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A Day On Le Town

So, two terrific places today: The Louvre and Notre Dame! Also, I wasn’t harassed by gypsies! Woo!

Louvre:

• Perhaps the most incredible building ever. The roof of any room always has some elaborate golden design adorning it!
• I AM IN PARIS.
• I saw artwork I had studied. In real life. It was bizarre, and they really were huge.
• STILL IN PARIS!
• I saw the Mona Lisa. That’s something to cross off the bucket list I don’t have.
• Also, the Venus de Milo! Once called the “perfect woman” donchaknow. Obviously by a man who hated women with limbs.
• So, new life goal: live in Paris and work at The Louvre! Close to a Disney park, my workplace would be full of incredible things, and there is an INCREDIBLE cafeteria where we had lunch, and I would get a discount there. Everything you want in a job really.
• Seriously, great food.

Notre Dame

• Pronounced as in “Poultry Farm”.
• I will have you know that it was a deeply spiritual experience, and that of course I was not humming the songs from The Hunchback of Notre Dame the whole time.
• Nor did I take photos where I intend to Photoshop in Quasimodo and Esmeralda. Stop with your slander!
• Seriously though, AMAZING cathedral.
• There were two miniature models of it inside. For some inexplicable reason the first made me think of a cake. Oh my gosh I am so making a Notre Dame cake.
• I just need tons of sponge cakes. I could even use cut-up lollipops to do accurate Stained Glass windows!
• Looking forward to making this cake.

So, Disneyland Paris tomorrow! All day! Five years since my last Disney park visit. Yes, I intend on making this a new tradition. Look forward to a crazy rant of joy tomorrow night. Or in New Zealand the morning after the night before the next full moon… or something. :)

18th January 2011

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I have SWAGGER.

Also, I have developed a taste for brandy. And may in fact be tipsy thanks to my aunt and uncle who manage to be good and bad influences at the same time.

16th January 2011

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Dear Vienna

So, I’m back from Austria! Time to do the usual. :)

Vienna:

• Wow, my hotel is in the GHETTO.
• Really it’s the location rather than the hotel.
• The buildings here are terrific, but other than the spontaneous appearances of pastel coloured buildings, nothing I didn’t see in Budapest. :/
• Yeah, Vienna failed to wow me so to speak.
• Luckily, my aunt taught me the most important phrase in German - “Mit Schlag”. Which means “with cream” of course!
• Seriously, I went to an incredible little cafe specializing in pastries and cakes.
• Oh, and I finally tried European McDonalds! It was about McDamn time.
• There was an Opera Toilet in the underground station. An OPERA TOILET. Nothing helps the flow like a little waltz.
• Which reminds me, I saw a couple in their late 20’s walking past, and when they heard the music, the man twirled the woman around in a perfect little 2 second waltz. Perhaps the sweetest thing I have ever seen, they had these huge smiles afterward. They didn’t even stop walking!
• Did I ever mention that the underground system in Budapest was my first subway-type experience? They are so convenient, New Zealand needs to get one!
• We’re just running a few tens of years late, it will come.

Oh, and I know how unrelated it is… but Black Swan is looking better and better. I read the full synopsis and thought it was trippy at first, but the more I go over it the more fascinating it gets. If I can get past the gore I might just watch it. Or I could just watch The Swan Princess again. Yeah, lets do that.

In closing, Vienna’s hills were simply not alive with the sound of music. I want Salzburg.

11th January 2011

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So, a week behind…

Yeah, haven’t blogged in about a week. Sorry about that! Anywho, this post will sum up my time in Slovenia so far, as well as my day/weekend trips to Budapest (Hungary) and Zagreb (Croatia). :)

Slovenia:

• I’m staying in a town called Ljubljana.
  -OBVIOUSLY it is pronounced LOOB-LEE-ARN-A. Obviously.
• This place is a lot like Christchurch. It had kind of plain suburbs with a central city containing both modern and older buildings. A river runs through it, the town is surrounded in hills/mountains, and a gondola-lift can take you up them. Sounds familiar, no?
• The gondola actually takes you up to the castle, which is great. Lots of stairs.
• The field next to the house is often filled with cats, deer, a dog, a farmer, more cats, lots of pheasants (no, not peasants), and more cats. Oh, and crows. And cats.
• Plus a tractor.
• There is a hotel which is called… something. Something which means “Elephant” in Slovene. Why? Because when it was first built, it had an elephant in a cage on the bottom floor! Whole elephant = quality hotel, everyone knows that.
• There is a huge supermarket that looks like a K-Mart, but it’s a supermarket. And kind of a K-Mart too.
• This is not the same place as Slovakia. :) Just so you know.
• Read Vanity Fair for the first time… that gets a whole blog post for itself. Trust me. At this rate, expect it 2012.

Budapest:

• Budapest was originally two places, Buda and Pest.
• No, seriously!
• The two areas are separated by a large river that sounds like the words Danish and Jubes. You have Google, look it up.
• This place is so incredibly beautiful at night. So well lit.
• One day I had a Texasburger, the next day I had a New York burger. How multicultural(?) I am.
• I was in a cafe and saw a French poster for New Zealand film “Whale Rider”. It was intense. An enigma wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a poster for a film about a whale played by Ke$ha Castle-Hughs.
• The Pitt-Jolie family once lived in Buda. True story!
• Very cold, but I had more mulled wine to keep me warm.
• There is some hilariously bad art in the gallery in Buda. Just sayin’. Me and Teresa were almost crying with laughter by the end.
• (Teresa and Mariana were two of the wonderful people I met. One has an iPad and one makes incredible scrambled eggs.)
• I tried a bellini, made with champagne and peach juice. Mmmm.
• I had “bear” shaped chicken nuggets that were in the shape of dinosaurs. perhaps there is not yet a Hungarian word for dinosaur. Give them time. It will come.
• I went to some classy places. And I know classy.
• The bathroom in one was made of marble and had violin music playing.
• The other was pretty much made of gold.

Zagreb:

• Another beautiful city, although I haven’t seen so much graffiti in one place in my whole life. :(
• How do I do that “U” that looks like a smiley face because it has the two dots above it on a keyboard?
• If the next bulletpoint doesn’t contain one I didn’t find out.
• You must stay at the “Jagerhorn”, it’s such a nice hotel!
• Yeah, I didn’t find the special “U”.
• Almost every street is a one-way. It makes getting places very difficult for outsiders.
• As does not using the Euro. *Shakes fist angrily*
• Meh, neither did Hungary, I forgave them.
• Didn’t spend long here, so not much to say really.
• Photos are needed here. They really are. To be added shortly/whenever! :)

5th January 2011

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Venezia/Venice

Wow.
Wow.
Wow.

Nothing in the world is like Venice. It is simply astounding! The food is incredible, the culture is fascinating… oh, and it’s filled with water. I went up and down the city on the Vaporetta, which sounds undeniably like a certain water Pokemon from my childhood/present day. I had my own room above Gino’s Pizzeria, and when I woke up the next morning I had pizza for breakfast. Actual Italian pizza. Followed by official Kit Kat flavoured gelato. Oh, and I had Peach Ice Tea. And Ke$ha was playing on the television at the time. Venice, I AM HOME.

Anywho, I can’t brush over the gelato. I love it so much. Incredibly cheap (about the equivalent of $1.00 NZD for a gigantic scoop), and so light and fluffy! It had actual chunks of kit kat inside, too. While eating it however I noticed two more food related wonders of Italy - Fanta is yellow and contains 12% orange juice, and everything in the fridge was in a glass bottle. Later in my trip I discovered that this was no Italian mafia conspiracy, but instead something far more intricate: ALL OF EUROPE HAS YELLOW FANTA. And glass bottles is all they use, which makes drinks more purdy, and Mother Earth has one less reason to be a total bitch. :)

As well as visiting a cathedral dedicated to St. Lucia (never again, if you know the story then you know why this was HELL), I stared in awe at thousands of spherical pigeons and went in numerous gondolas that all swayed menacingly. But the true drama occured on the train trip to Slovenia. No, not the people who stole our seats. SOMEONE DIED ON THE TRAIN. I am sufficiently traumatised. Just dropped dead without warning, in the middle of the aisle. I kind of lost faith in humanity and that point, because no one actually seemed to care. Oh well, at least he didn’t suffer. He was clearly dead before he hit the floor. :(

Well, Slovenia and Hungary are the next to be updated on, I apologize for my lack of posts. As always, stay tuned!